11 Ways of Practicing Self-Love

Since May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to spend the next few weeks focusing on issues related to mental health. For my first post in this series, I want to share some of the ways I practice self-love in my day-to-day life. The relationship we have with ourselves can play a large role in mental health issues. We may lack self-love, which may make us more at-risk for mental health issues or we may have an existing mental health issue that challenges our self-love. I think oftentimes we talk about mental health as if it’s something only for people with mental health issues, but even if you don’t struggle with a mental health issue, we all have mental and emotional wellbeing we need to work to maintain. Self-love is important for everyone. Now these may not work for everyone but they have been effective for me. I don’t do all of these things everyday but they are things I incorporate into my life at one point or another.

1. Journal.

I find writing my feelings out helps me process them. For that reason journaling has been a good way for me to work on matining my mental health. There are many self-love journaling prompts out there on the internet that help you build confidence by writing about yourself. Some sample prompts to get started could be, “what are your favorite parts of your appearance?,” “name 3 things you like about yourself.,” and/or “describe your strengths.” If you find you are struggling with your confidence, it’s also nice to have something to go back to for reference to build you back up.

2. Do something you enjoy (and you’re good at).

I like cooking and I’ve gotten quite good at it (more on that later). When I’m having a rough day, I love to go into my kitchen and start working on a dish with a lot of prep work. The prep work helps get me out of my head and focused on the task and hand. When I’m finished cooking, I get to say, “hey, look at this awesome dish I just made!” Knowing that I created it and it tastes delicious makes me feel more confident. 

3. Volunteer.

Volunteering not only helps those in need but it also helps the helper. When you’re volunteering it helps give you the sense of working towards the greater good, which can provide a sense of meaning and purpose. It also helps move your focus from negative feelings towards yourself to the work you are trying to do, and those you are trying to help. Knowing that you were a part of this work can provide a sense of confidence. 

4. Practice Gratitude.

Practicing gratitude focused on the self can help build up confidence. It forces you to identify your gifts: your strengths, unique life experience, the things that make you you, so that you can remember to be thankful for them. I also find that when I am struggling with body confidence (because we all do at one point or another), it’s helpful to remember that my body is a gift that I need to be grateful for. I need to be grateful for it’s ability for movement, the potential I have to grow and expand the limits of what it can do. That’s what’s important.

5. Use Affirmations.

Affirmations, if you aren’t familiar, are statements of emotional encouragement. These are often something you say to yourself or post somewhere they will be seen regularly to provide emotional support. Some helpful affirmations I’ve heard from others over the years include, “You are enough.,” “There is nothing wrong with you.,” and “You can do it.” There are apps like My Affirmations that will send you notifications regularly with affirmations, but you could also manually send reminders on your phone. You can also go old-school and post these on post-it notes. Whatever works for you.

6. Exercise.

I found that during my recovery for post-concussion syndrome, when I felt trapped in both life and my injury, building physical strength helped me build mental strength. I was limited in the exercises I could do but I was able to lift weights, which I started doing more than I ever had in my life. Seeing my progression in what I was able to achieve physically, as well as seeing muscle develop on my body for the first time gave me a source of inner strength and confidence that helped me through my recovery. Whatever physical activity you enjoy, push yourself to engage in that activity regularly. Exercise really is a high. Focus on the high if you have trouble motivating yourself to move. You may not want to do it now, but if you do, you and I both know you’ll feel better 🙂 

7. Eat Well.

Along with exercise comes eating well. I believe there is room for all foods in life, it’s just a matter of how much you eat of certain foods and how often. I know if I were eating pizza, wings, and chips throughout the day for 2 days by the time I get to day 3 my body would be not only feeling run-down and lethargic, but screaming at me to eat a vegetable. Set yourself up to feel good by putting things that are good for you in your body. Make sure you’re eating well-balanced meals of vegetables, grains, proteins, and fruits. Life is too short to be restrictive with food–just make sure your body is properly nourished.

8. Listen to your inner voice (and honor it).

In my experience, with the fast-pace of 21st century life, it can be easy to get caught up in doing what those around you want, enjoy, or expect. Things move so fast it can be hard to check-in with yourself to focus on what you want or need. You might be the person who always says yes. If you take time to develop your inner voice, you might want to say “yes” and take a beat to pause and then say, “actually never mind, go on without me, I don’t really want to do that right now.” When I started cutting back on alcohol in 2018, I realized drinking as often as I did back then was something I had really been socialized into, but it really didn’t serve me. I feel much better without it. This is something that can take time to develop, but checking in with your inner voice will help you make sure that you are honoring what you need in the moment. 

9. Find your person.

I believe we all need at least one person we can open up to, someone we trust to be honest, have our back, and want what’s best for us. It can be really helpful to discuss our feelings with another person because they can challenge our thoughts when they need to be challenged and help us see things from a different perspective. Life can be lonely at times, and it’s also just nice to know that you have someone to lean on. We all need that person that’s going to be there to help build us back up when we go through hard times. Not only is it nice to have someone stop us from feeling badly about ourselves, but I think there’s a confidence that develops from nurturing your relationship with this person, whoever that is for you. 

10. Make an effort in your appearance.

Now self-love should be more than what you look like, absolutely, 100% yes that’s true. I do think that there’s a confidence that comes from knowing you look good or at least knowing you are putting your best foot forward when you go through life. Especially in lockdown when we may not be seen, we don’t always feel a need to make an effort, but it can be so transformative to just make a little effort to polish our appearance. It changes how you move about the world, for evidence watch literally any episode of Netflix’s Queer Eye. When you look good, you feel good. 

11. Look back.

It can be helpful to reflect back and look on how far we’ve come. While it’s tempting to want to go back in time, I’m sure most of us have grown and learned a lot over the years, and far prefer the person we are now to who we were in the past. It can be so easy to feel like we haven’t done enough or aren’t far enough along in life, but looking back on all that we’ve accomplished can help confront those feelings and make us feel more confident. 

Our relationship with ourselves is the longest relationship we’ll ever have. It’s an important relationship to invest in and nurture. I hope these tips can help, and if you have other ways you practice self-love in your life, please leave a comment to share.

‘Till next week,

Livvy